Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I know it's been awhile since I've written you a letter myself. At some point along the way, I stopped believing in the magic and for that I am sorry. I'm writing you this year because I have one simple request. It may seem a little off the wall and maybe not something that you are asked of very often, but I am hoping that you may be able to make this christmas wish come true. Last year, I lost my daughter at the age of 2. She was the sweetest, most lovable child and not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I think of her laughing, crying, playing with her brother and sister and sneaking into my wife and I's bedroom in the middle of the night to cuddle. Before we get to deep into this, please understand that I am not asking for her to be returned to us. I know that there is no way that can happen, but what I'm about to ask for will give me the most memorable christmas to date. If it happens, I couldn't think of a better gift that I've received on December 25th for the thirty six years that I have been alive. Santa, I am asking you for a dream. Not just any plain, run of the mill dream, but rather a dream that brings me back to the time before the pain in my heart became part of a daily routine. I'm asking for a dream that goes back to when Allie was still with us. In this dream, I would like to feel the warmth of her hug, the slobber from her kisses, and be able to get that unique Allie smell one more time. I want this dream to feel exaclty like real life. A dream where I get to witness her playing with Ayden and Addy and laughing the day away. I get to see her run into her mother's arms and just giggle as Sara tickles her pudgy little belly. Next, I want to experience her peeking her head around the hallway corner again. I want to see that huge smile on her face when she realizes I am the only one up and she gets to come hang out with daddy. We have our usual silly conversation and then fall asleep with her arms wrapped snuggly around me and I get to feel her heart beat against my chest. I really want that dream where there is no pain, only happiness. I want it to be so realistic that I wake up with tears streaming down my face because it hurt so much to have to wake up from it. Santa, not only do I want that for myself for christmas this year, but I wish that for others that have lost someone special to them in their life. I've realized that dreams like this are ever so important and special because it allows to remember what we had, how lucky we were, and that these people will truly always be with us. So for christmas this year santa, please spread the wish of a dream. I yearn for that real feeling with Allie again and what better time to make it happen than now?


Sincerely,

Nic

Though we only held you in our arms for a little while, we will hold you in our hearts forever.